OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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