is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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