And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
