I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
