i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
operation have a gay friend backfired
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
