Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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