Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
