im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
