Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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