you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
