just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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