So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Floor bacon is actually really good
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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