No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
