but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
