I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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