You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
