she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize