i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I have so many feelings about this burrito
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
