Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
