She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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