they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
