The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
