Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize