It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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