Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
