CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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