I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
