Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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