Me. At least after what I've been through.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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