i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
