My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I need to calm my uterus...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
