yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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