i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
