You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
