i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
a search helicopter?!
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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