love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
