i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
