Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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