Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
