i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize