i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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