is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
