I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
There are leaves in my underwear?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
