I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
