My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
