he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
