$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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