I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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