i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I understand Curling. That high.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Randomize