I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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