Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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