Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
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