yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
