I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
