Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
