Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
