And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
