winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
