i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
