So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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