I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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