For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
