i permit you to call me
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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